Master of the House

Welcome M´sier
Sit yourself down
And meet the best Innkeeper in town
As for the rest
All of them crooks
Rooking the guests
And cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who´s content to be

Master of the House
Solding out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon viveur!
Glad to do my friends a favour
Doesn´t cost me to be nice
but nothing gets you nothing
Ev´rything has got a little price

Master of the House
Keeper of the zoo
Ready relieve them of a sou, or two
Watering the wine making up the weight
Picking up their knick-knacks
When they can´t see strainght
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody´s bosom friend
I do whatever pleases me
So won’t I bleed them in the end!

Master of the House
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passer by
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher
And lifelong mate
Everybody´s boon companion
Everybody´s chaperone
But lock up your valises, see this
Won´t I skin you to the bone!

Enter M´sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace your boots
And rest from the road
This weighs a ton
Travel´s a curse
But here we strive
To lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing´s overlooked
Till I´m satisfied

Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it´s beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages
With this and that

Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extra on the side
Charge them for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two per cent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three per cent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are lots of tricks to know
How it all increases
All them bits and pieces
See here it´s amazing how it grows

Master of the House
Quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passer by
To pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher
And lifelong mate
Everybody´s boon companion
Gives them everything he´s got
Dirty bunch of greezers . . .
Creepers, what a sorry little lot!

Everybody raise a toast
Raise it to the finest host
Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house

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